175 lb today - that makes me so depressed. Have gained 2 -3 lb over the last month, and that's after a month's worth of regular exercise and 2 weeks of aware eating. Had a great weekend away, did fun things, and that's all I can dwell on this morning. So depressed about that - both the weight gain and the fact that it bothers me so much. I know I just need to keep at it, but when the scale keeps going up it's hard. And I was late this am so can't go to the gym at lunch. And have laundry and groceries to do tonight, so I know I will blow off working out. Argh! Plus I really want to go shopping for a new dresser...argh!!

Ate two slices of white bread, butter and apricot jam. Lunch was from a restaurant - corn and egg drop soup (small), shanghai noodles - soo yummy! Also veg stirfry and rice. Ate less of that as the noodles filled me up nicely. Will have rest of veg and rice for a snack this pm. A new concession: got a coffee with skim milk instead of cream. I can't imagine a tb of cream makes such a diff, but I have gained 3 lb since back at work so have to figure out what is causing the weight gain. Oh well. Craving chocolate but forcing myself to abstain - got "chocolate almond coffee" instead! hahah.

What to make for dinner? I feel utterly clueless about what to eat to be "healthy". Can only think about exercising more, but then I keep blowing that off. Argh. Oh wait, I noticed last week that when I go to bed at midnight I'm too tired to go to the gym. Last night I went to bed at....midnight!! And I am too tired to exercise today- even to sneak in a 20 minute workout. And too tired to work. So the key here is that I need to be in bed early!! by 10:30. So that will be my goal for today.

Glorious sunny day. Would be so amazing to go for a swim in the pool, but too tired for that. blrgh.