Thursday

Thursday breakfast: miniwheats and milk. Coffee with cream in am. 1 banana. Lunch: rice with 3 diff curries (take out from night before). Things going okay until afternoon when I craved something sweet. Got a coconut bubble tea AND two springrolls. Icky yucky and yet tasty. From Manchu Wok, which has pretty icky Chinese food. Needless to say, feel  mighty fat and overweight. Sigh. Why? Went to sleep around 10:30. Feel a bit better than yesterday, but still tired. No gym as had to skip lunch to leave early so can pick kids up. Want to exercise tonight, but I think I want to go furniture shopping even more. And stupid website of furniture store keeps shutting down when I click on it. Grr.

Recap - Tues night I managed to go to bed at 11:30! Improvement! Alas, was still tired on Wed.

In case you couldn't tell, Tuesday I was headed for a blowout! And it did happen - was super stressed over some work I had to do so I ate half a bag of Bridge Mixture candy. Ahem. It was very tasty and I didn't feel a bit guilty. Oh well. Was tired and all. Peaches n' cream muffin for aft snack.

Dinner? Can't remember (quel surprise).

Wed. breakfast: 2 slices white bread, butter and jam. Green tea latte. Lunch: rice, veg, then tempura, tiny green salad and chicken teriyaki with rice. Super tired. 1 pecan butter tart and 1 hefty choco brownie for aft snack, along with a decaf coffee.  Dinner: grilled cheese sandwhich on white bread, rice, small amount of curries at night (take out). Pas bon, mes amis!!

Geez, this food diary keeping is sooo boring.

175 lb today - that makes me so depressed. Have gained 2 -3 lb over the last month, and that's after a month's worth of regular exercise and 2 weeks of aware eating. Had a great weekend away, did fun things, and that's all I can dwell on this morning. So depressed about that - both the weight gain and the fact that it bothers me so much. I know I just need to keep at it, but when the scale keeps going up it's hard. And I was late this am so can't go to the gym at lunch. And have laundry and groceries to do tonight, so I know I will blow off working out. Argh! Plus I really want to go shopping for a new dresser...argh!!

Ate two slices of white bread, butter and apricot jam. Lunch was from a restaurant - corn and egg drop soup (small), shanghai noodles - soo yummy! Also veg stirfry and rice. Ate less of that as the noodles filled me up nicely. Will have rest of veg and rice for a snack this pm. A new concession: got a coffee with skim milk instead of cream. I can't imagine a tb of cream makes such a diff, but I have gained 3 lb since back at work so have to figure out what is causing the weight gain. Oh well. Craving chocolate but forcing myself to abstain - got "chocolate almond coffee" instead! hahah.

What to make for dinner? I feel utterly clueless about what to eat to be "healthy". Can only think about exercising more, but then I keep blowing that off. Argh. Oh wait, I noticed last week that when I go to bed at midnight I'm too tired to go to the gym. Last night I went to bed at....midnight!! And I am too tired to exercise today- even to sneak in a 20 minute workout. And too tired to work. So the key here is that I need to be in bed early!! by 10:30. So that will be my goal for today.

Glorious sunny day. Would be so amazing to go for a swim in the pool, but too tired for that. blrgh. 

Saturday morning I had 2 slices of bread/bagel with peanut butter or butter/jam. Small coffee and cream from Tim Horton's, half of breakfast sandwich. Was very focused on eating healthy during this trip, as I typically use vacation trips as an excuse to eat chips, cookies, choco, and other sweets. Then I feel yucky because of it. I knew I couldn't manage any "weight loss eating", but I just wanted to avoid that heavy, bloated feeling. Two bourbon creme cookies (Indian ones!). Not too tasty but kids were eating cookies and I had a cup of coffee so just felt I had to indulge.

On the road I ate half a big apricot muffin and half of baby's ice cream. Was very tasty but I felt heavy and yucky afterwards.

Alas, lunch was a Mcdonalds crispy chicken sandwich and half a salad. I could have gotten a grilled sandwich but by then my legs were feeling stiff, I wanted something tasty, etc. At least I avoided the fries and choco cookies! A few sips of cola. Avoided eating again until dinner time at the resort. Dinner was amazing - tandoori chicken breast with  pita bread, lettuce, tomato, caesar salad dressing and sriracha hot sauce. First time I made it and it was very yum! Salad to accompany. My sister in law brought fruits so we had cherries and toasted marshmallows for dessert. As per my request she did not bring any sweets. I did not bring any chocolate! Had mango juice, though. Felt good about eating healthy!

Woke up very hungry at 4:00 am. Ate quarter piece of injera bread - phewf! Didn't sleep well.

Sunday morning at the buffet breakfast table I was committed to eating healthy: scrambled eggs, white flour english muffin, butter, two syrup soaked little pancakes, coffee with cream. One bite of my son's boston cream doughnut. One banana. May not sound like a diet meal but I did pass up various chocolate coated, frosted, baked sweet breads and muffins. So hah! Ate less than I wanted to as the kids ran away from the breakfast table and refused to go back. Grrr. Felt resentful as I wanted more egg and bread, etc, but told myself it was okay as I didn't actually need to eat more. As a result I felt light, not heavy, as I usually do when I leave a buffet table. Played at the beach - yippee!

Ate almonds as a snack. Lunch was at a restaurant - blackened halibut fillet, tzatziki sauce, rice, salad bar, pineapple for dessert. Was tasty and I felt good.

Dinner was bisibelebath back at the resort (mashed up lentils, veg, potato, rice - Indian dish). Was pretty bland. Added sriracha sauce, pre-fried onions and salt and it was better. Also ate half a round of injera bread before dinner, as it took so long for dinner to be prepared! Prior to that we also ate a tomato and mozzarella salad with olive oil and pani puri (deep fried hollow balls with tangy water inside - yes, it is as wierd as it sounds). Tried to avoid eating too many pani puri as they are deep fried. Felt reasonably light afterwards.

Good intentions fell by the wayside Monday morning at the buffet breakfast. Passed up the scrambled eggs in favour of two very large pieces of french toast and syrup, served with a sliced up banana and a small sausage. Yummy! Also had to try the scones....oooh they were heavenly!! Apricot and almond essence in them. Perfect moist crumb and light...wowee. Ate one with butter and jam. Coffee with cream too. Wanted more and more...took some back for snack - um, the kids' snack, of course! Too much carbs, I felt, so my body felt heavy afterwards. So hard to pass up delicious tasty heavy foods for foods that are lighter and high in protein. The feeling of heaviness after eating so much dense food was so familiar to me...delicious while on the mouth, then lethargic and bloated and heavy feeling aftewards. How can I achieve the trade off of delicious now vs. yucky feeling later. Alternative is so-so food now and feeling good later. Sigh!

Lunch was v. unhealthy - nachos and goopy cheese on the boat ride (tour of Lake George! whee!), 2 fried chicken tenders and a few french fries. Were in a rush as had to drive back home so no time for proper lunch. Also ate one scone from the am. Was dry and not as heavenly, likely as it was preceded by unhealthy food. Stopped for gas and got a drinkable yoghurt (reasonably healthy but high in sugar), canned fruit salad (ditto). Ate a fried samosa from a truck stop (homemade coriander and tamarind sauce -yum!) then had some Lebanese food for dinner once we got back to town. Chicken shawarma plate. Made a sandwich of shawarma chicken, hummus, salad and pita bread, but then still craved something so stood in kitchen and ate rice, salad and chicken from the container. Mad at hubby so ate 2 choco chip cookies and drank a glass of milk.

Today is Friday! Had to come in to work early. No breakfast - and I didn't even help hubby get the kids ready. Hee hee. Ate a banana on the bus. Bought a coffee and a white flour sesame seed bagel with egg salad. Outrageously expensive ($6.03). Would have cost less to buy a breakfast sandwich - grr. Working a half day today (almost) - should I buy lunch or go home and eat it. Hmm.

Long white peasant skirt (so pretty!), black t-shirt, coral sweater, silver jewelry. Pretty!

Friday lunch was Vietnamese bun - vermicelli noodles, lettuce, mint, grilled chicken and fish sauce. Very yum! Chips in pm as I was shopping with my baby and my mother. Then got a sandwich at Tim Horton's in Vanier. Very sketchy place on a Friday night - eek!

Had the coffee and cream yesterday, but avoided the siren song of the macaroon - yay! Lunch was the food I had brought with me the previous day - penne pasta, sausage n' peppers, a cucumber and white cherries. Snacked on some pepitas at the end of the day, then bought a peach n' raspberry yoghurt parfait at Starbucks. Overpriced and so SOUR! eek. Also got an oatmeal raisin cookie for the kiddies' snack (I was picking them up yesterday). Got to the car to pick up the kids and discovered I didn't have my car key. Words cannot describe the stress....waited for bus. It was late. As usual. Words cannot...ate half the (large) oatmeal raisin cookie in pure stress and frustration. Ugh.

Then discovered I had my key. Got in the car. Hit every red light on the way to the daycare (no, I'm not joking). Driving kids home I wanted to go to McDonald's and give them a treat. Stress level very high. Would have been so easy to give my son a Jr. chicken burger, fries and soda....but no. I am following the blog http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/about/ and she is very much against wasting money on fast food (she's a self described cheapo - I love it!). And, of course, she heartily advocates cooking food yourself, to be healthy and save money. So I resisted - yes, I resisted! Came home, flopped on couch while kids cried. Finally roused myself to nurse the baby. Then prepared pasta and cheese and cucumbers. Yes, the same thing as the day before. So sue me.

Hubby oversaw the kids eating, I was dead exhausted. Kids were running around like crazy so he took them out to play - yay! That woke me up, I rearranged furniture, got stuff out of storage, started organizing this and that (yes, that's what I do when I'm tired!). Kids came back. Did I eat anything during all this? Not sure. Finally got kids to bed around 9:30, chatted with hubby, finished organizing clothes, stumbled to kitchen and started making food around 10:30 pm. Red curry shrimp with rice. Too watery but still tasty. That's all.

To finish off yesterday - ate rest of Chinese vegetable stir fry before leaving work (kids are so crazy when I get home - tough to eat then). Gave pasta and cheese to my son (4.5). Cucumbers too. Baby ate some watermelon and guzzled breastmilk! I ate watermelon and some boiled/fried dumplings. Dinner was a bowl of Mini-Wheats and milk around 9. Avoided the chocolate cookies that were floating around. Yay for me!!

Determined to go to bed early so I wasn't as tired the next day. Was asleep by around 10:30. Yay! Alas, son woke up at 2:15 am, hungry. So gave him cereal, I ate a banana, then we all slept.

This morning I ate a white flour and cheddar bagel with light cream cheese, 1 banana and 1 cup of 2% milk. On the bus. Tried to get here early so I could leave early, but didn't manage it. Drat. Now I want a coffee with cream...and a macaroon. Don't think I should eat that but...hmm.

Brown bark cloth short skirt (well, it looks like bark cloth!), brown t-shirt, brown wood earrings (yes, all from the same store!). Cool and ethnic look. Love it!

Ate a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast. Felt full until lunch, but too sluggish to go to the gym (was up until 1 am reading a novel - bad me!! Packed a super healthy lunch and snacks (pasta, sausage n' peppers, white cherries, cucumber, boiled egg) but didn't want to eat any of it! Instead, got a coffee at Timmy's, plus a raspberry Timbit, then bought my lunch! Moderately healthy - black bean chicken, rice and a spring rolle. eep. Hope the hubby doesn't find out as he's really irked about me spending money on lunch. Then I bought 3 (high quality) Belgian chocos...just because I wanted to. Ate white cherries for a pm snack, plus some "sesame nuggets". Tasty but now feeling bloated, sluggish and full.

Why didn't I go to the gym? Third day this week I haven't gone. I think it's because I have been going to bed so late (12:30-1:00 am) every night this week. Tonight I must go to bed by 10:00! 'Nuff is 'nuff.

Wearing a cute yellow top and pretty jewelry. Tummy seems slightly less prominent than a month ago. Cute black shoes with gold rosettes on them.